A Race to remember

I wanted to run a half marathon that wasn't all down hill and closer to home. Mike and I signed up for this half marathon in January, before Mike hurt his knee. We were going to be running it with my SIL and BIL. They both had to drop out too because of their kids activities. That just left me to run the race. The course was decent, the race was very well organized. 

Me, well I thought I had trained well. I didn't though. 

This was my first race since my surgery. I didn't know how I would do. I wasn't excepting a super time but I was excepting that I would a little better. Three hours and three minutes later I finished. I was so mad. In October, I ran the Halloween Half in 2:30 hours. I wanted that time or better. I think the cold through me off. Daylight savings pushed the sun up later so I couldn't run in the mornings. The worst part. I forgot my watch. My running watch. To tell me my pace, how far I have gone and how much more I need to go. When I got to the starting line and realized this fun fact, I almost turned around and went home. But I thought no. I will do my best and pretend it's just a run around the neighborhood nothing serious. Those thoughts helped for a little bit but by mile 9 I wanted to quit. I had a blister at the bottom of my foot. I was even madder since I had just bought new shoes. When Justin Biebers song came on the ipod, Never Say Never I wanted to puke and cry all at once. (My stomach wasn't feeling well either.) The song pulled me through. My last mile I just kept thinking never say never, I will fight til forever,  I could do this. Even though thoughts of me being a fat cow were dragging me down. I want to be called a runner. I want to look like I could run 13.1 miles without breaking a sweat. I didn't feel like I was even good enough to be in this race. I sprinted to the end. There weren't very many people left things were being torn down. This was one of the worst races I felt for me. I know there is room for improvement, always. 

I hope to start that improvement tomorrow. 

Next race, 40miles on my bike and then Ragnar. In all of this self pity, I'm not going to give up my goal of looking fit and being someday called a runner. I even put my name into the lottery for the St. George Marathon. That is in 6 months.

Junk, Junk and more JUNK!

Running Log #15

This new year I thought I would be better to stay off the soda, chocolate and candy. 

I had dreams of working out everyday. Suffering through the tiredness from waking up in the morning. The cold, the bitter COLD to get up and run outside. 

Funny thing about dreams they don't always happen. My dreams were shattered in the middle of the month when the weather was bitter. The candy, coke and chocolate were to good to resist. 

I wanted to change that habit this morning. I went for a run. I was hoping to go longer than a mile or two. I went FOUR MILES!!!! Along those 4 miles, I felt the pain of not running after three weeks. The cold air burned my lungs and my feet were like ice blocks, screaming at me to stop. I didn't give up, yes I walked a bit but I wasn't upset that I did. I was moving more than I had before. 

Finally when I was all done I looked at my watch, 4 miles, 58min.  

Hard, yes! Worth it? TOTALLY!

Maybe this new found energy, that I haven't felt in weeks, will help me make better junk food choices.

Halloween Half

Saturday, I ran my last race for the year. I was stoked, pumped, excited, freezing and feeling good. This was my second half marathon. I was looking forward to beating my time. Last year, I just wanted to finish the race but this year was different. I knew the race course, I was in better shape and was hoping to beat my time. 

I did all of that. I am 20 pounds lighter than I was last year. I am in better shape and my time was 2:31:06. 

My sister in law ran the race with me this year as well. Some of the ladies from her neighborhood did the race as well. We all carpooled down to Provo in the wee hours of the morning. When we got there we stood in line for over an hour in the cold, windy weather. When we finally got on the bus our bodies were tense from standing in the cold for so long. There were 3600 people running in this race this year. Many people were dressed up in various costumes. That is the best part of this race, checking out every one's awesome costumes. 

The race started at 9:00am, 3600 people headed down the winding Provo Canyon road. Of the girls that rode with us to the race, her name is Mae, it was her first race and half marathon. We stayed by each other the whole time. It was great motivation to run next to someone. I liked that it pushed me to keep going instead of trying to walk. I didn't want to let her down. Two and half hours later we finished. 

I love what racing does to me. I love that I can say I ran a half marathon, I'm a runner, an athlete. I feel accomplished. 

At the finish line my children, sister, sister in law and husband were all waiting for me and cheering me on. The sight of seeing them brought tears to my eyes. I could see how they were happy for me. I can't wait to run this race again next year. I know I will do even better!

Running Log #40

I am now in the last two weeks of training for my last race of the year. I can't believe it! The time has gone by so fast. I love having a race to look forward to.
This last week was a struggle to get out and run. The weather was perfect but my heart wasn't into it. I kept thinking tomorrow I will run, tonight I will run. But by the time it would come and I wouldn't want to. Running makes me feel strong, happy, and better about myself. Other exercise does that too but there is something about running that you walk away saying wow my body just did that and I didn't die. Biking and swimming aren't that hard for me. But when it comes to the running I just want to give up.
This is how I felt on Monday. My husband been had been gone all weekend. I felt couped up with the children, the weather didn't help either. After I picked up the children from swimming lessons, I told them that I was going to go run and that they needed to get ready for bed. I wanted to go 3 miles but as I started to run my calf started to hurt, the wind started to blow and for some reason there were a lot of teenagers walking the streets, which were making me nervous. I wish I could say that through all the adversity I kept going. But I didn't. I was hurting and scared. This run made me feel even worse than if I hadn't even gone in the first place. I didn't know when I would have the chance to run again.
As luck would have it, the opportunity came on Wednesday. Jersey was getting an award at school and I wanted to be there for her so I went to work later in the day. I was so excited. I couldn't handle it. I was going to get some ME time. I was going to get to run when the sun was shining and most scary teenagers were at school. Mike said to me run as far as you can in one hour. I did and it felt great. I went 5.76 miles in one hour. Probably the fastest I have ever gone. I loved that I could feel the sun. I know I said that already but there aren't to many of those days left. As I was running the pain in my calf was hurting but not as bad as on Monday. After 3 miles it felt better. I wanted to go longer than 5 miles but if I had I wouldn't have made Jersey thing in time.
I don't know why but when I run my head seems to clear. Thoughts come that I have been looking and waiting for, anxieties melt away and my favorite part is that I can feel love and peace from my Heavenly Father. I think that is why when I don't get to run I get a bit crazy. I need it now more than I ever thought I would. Which makes me nervous for the winter and for the 6 weeks of recovery time that I will soon be needing. I know that I will be fine and better than ever. Let's hope for a fast recovery.

Running Log #161

I don't really think I have blogged about running 161 times but I have felt that I have been running for a while and today I started to get discouraged with my results. I don't run often that is a fact but in my head I feel like I am running all the time. When I envision my self running for reals, I have this nice long stride, my posture is good, my breathing is regulated, my feet aren't burning with the start of blisters and I look fabulous. No sweat, perfect hair and my face isn't crazy red like a tomato. 

But none the of the above is what I look like when I actually run. I look beat up, my knees are creaking, my breathing is awful, my hair is a mess, along with my sweat that is crystallizing into salt. 

It's pathetic really. 

Something made me smile in the moments I started to get down on myself. I was watching my shadow. My shadow has changed over the years. It use to be thin, to say that I was thin. It use to be big and pregnant when that was my stage in life. After pregnancy it looked a bit round around the edges. Flabby and large. I didn't like looking at my shadow then, at any time. But slowly I have seen that shadow muffin top fade away. I am not saying that it isn't gone but it has been reduced. My arms in my shadow, you can see the definition of them. My legs are looking skinnier not elephant legs pounding the pavement.Yep, this made me smile to think about the times that I have wanted a smaller, thinner shadow. I know that it's going to take more time to get that shadow down to where I want it.

I will keep on pounding the pavement. . 

Happy moment, the other day I was in the car with my children and they were discussing my size, nice right? Well they both told me that they have liked the way I look. That I am looking a lot skinnier. I will keep on running for more compliments like that.