Broken arm

Jersey has my klutzy behavior, even though she is a very active kid. She likes to take chances like doing the monkey bars backwards, going across them fast and always on the go.
On Friday April 16th, Jersey called me from school to tell me she broke her arm. I questioned her like are you sure it's broken? But then I thought about it and she won't be calling me from school if it wasn't serious. I was still in my pj's so I hurried and got dressed and ran to the school.
When I got to the school she had a melted bag of ice on her arm and she looked like she was in pain. I checked her out and we went home, I called the DR they said I needed to take her to Primary Children's hospital. So we got in the car and drove up there. As soon as I saw the x-rays I could tell it was broken. Because of the swelling they couldn't cast the arm right away. So they splint her right arm and sent us on our way. Mike met us at the hospital and we all went out to lunch.
Since she broke her arm and I was already late for work, I stayed home to take of her. But we made the most of the time together. We went to my nephews baseball game and then we took the kids to dinner and to a movie. Jersey I'm sure wishes she broke her arm sooner to get all this attention.On her birthday April 20th she got a hot pink cast on her arm. She has not let the cast slow her done at all. She is riding her bike, running around on the playground, playing soccer, dancing and going across the monkey bars with her cast. What a crazy girl. She also still able to write with her hurt arm.
Tomorrow she gets the cast off. I'm so happy that she didn't let this trial in life take over her and make her think she couldn't do the things she loves while being hurt.

this makes me want

A BABY!!!!! With everyone I know having babies, I too would like one. (Phoenix I think at three months old in this picture). Because we aren't thinking(well Mike is not thinking)about having anymore kids right now. It is hard to read or see others getting to experience that joy. Don't get me wrong I'm so happy for everyone. I think that it is awesome to have more children it's just not in the cards for me right now. This is a thought that I have been obsessing about for awhile, since Phoenix hit a year and half. Because of this obsessing about having more children I have fallen into a deep depression that has led me down paths that I don't wish upon my worst enemy. I have sunk so low as to over dose on medication that is "suppose" to help me with the depression. But lucky I have found peace with myself and with my depression. I have learned who to control or refocus the obsessing thoughts and redirected the anxiety that I face with the depression.

For about 5 weeks I have been seeing a counselor at Family Services. (This isn't something that you admit to.) I feel that sharing how I feel will not only help me to heal even more but I hope will help others who read this. I know that I'm a daughter of GOD who loves me and knows who I am. I know that I have been suffering with depression for a really long time. Sometimes it makes me feel like a weirdo because I have this problem. But to recognize it and try to manage it has been the greatest feeling. The last five weeks have been a hell that only I have experienced. I know that through the atonement I can be saved from this disease. Even though I'm still working out the kinks I think because I'm being proactive about it and talking with someone it has helped me a great deal.

I'm a visual learner that has to write everything down and re-write so that things will stick in my brain. I feel that the exercise have been now in grained in my head that it is easy to stay focused on trying to refocus obsessive, anxiety and depressing thoughts. I am a good person and I deserve a normal life, a life full of happiness.

If anyone you know is going through a depression have them seek help. I know that by seeking the help of professionals and the Lord I'm able to overcome my weaknesses. I know that I'm not fully cured and I can't be made when there are relapses but I know that through the steps I have been taught things will be easier to handle then a meltdown of sorrow.

Tonsils

...Phoenix before the procedure

Who needs tonsils? Phoenix was diagnosed that he need his out. We had been suspected that something was wrong for awhile. We just didn't know what. Until I took Phoenix to his two-year check up. He is growing strong but there was something odd and the way he ate, slept and always would take a bottle. So the pediatrician looked at Phoenix and he said that his tonsils were pretty big. So he referred us to a Ear, Nose and Throat DR. we went on Monday to the DR. he said that they were large as well and the he could have them taken out as soon as this Friday (the 31st). I said why not we will go ahead and do that. It was quite unnerving to take him to the Surgery center. He was doing fine before we got there just talking and still really tired. We got in first thing at 6:45am. While the nurse was checking his vitals he was really mad. He didn't want anyone to touch him. They gave him some meds that would make him groggy so that he would be able to be manageable. After talking to the Dr. the nurse took Phoenix back into the OR. It didn't even seem like 20 minutes and the Dr. was out giving us a report and saying that the surgery went well. It was nice to hear that things were going good. He also told us that Phoenix's tonsils were the largest he has ever seen on a boy that small. All I could think of was how sad for my baby. He has been suffering for so long and we only just found out now.

When Phoenix woke up from the anesthesia he wasn't happy at all. He was screaming in recovery. They said it was normal to hear screaming but I wanted to run in and grab my baby and make it all feel better for him. The nurses said we could finally come back and see him and hold him while he took a nap. While we were moving around to hold him. He awoke and said "Foot hurt". They had placed an ivy in his foot so that he would have enough fluid. While he slept we held oxygen up to his face and watch his heart rate and oxygen levels. After about an hour Phoenix woke up and we were able to go home.

When we came home he was pretty tired as well as the rest of us. Jersey was with Grandma Liz and Grandpa Carl. So it was pretty quiet. Mike and Phoenix slept. It was sort of crazy to give phoenix the pain medicine because he would become a little Lupe. He was suppose to eat soft or liquid foods. but Phoenix wouldn't go for it. We had pizza for dinner and he wanted to eat like the rest of us so he ate pizza. I couldn't believe it. As for today he is doing good other than he won't really talk, he will just make noises with his mouth closed. He won't even smile. Wow I miss it. I think he knows what happened because he doesn't want to be around me. Like I was the meanest mom. OK maybe I'm just making that up in my head but that is just how it feels. The DR. said that it will take about a week to ten days to feel better. I am glad that I have a work that will give me the time off to take care of my baby. I know that he would be fine but it's nice to be here to take of him.